AUTHOR'S COMMENTARY ON
FINDING THE LOST WEEKEND

I have never denied or confirmed that an act of sexual abuse occurred at the actual “Lost Weekend Retreat” that took place at Judge Memorial Catholic High School in 1969.

I personally have suffered a delayed emotional “hangover” from the gravity of deceit used to plan and to see it through, and all behind the backs of our unsuspecting parents. It was evident James Rapp had been certified as a risk to young boys ten years before the retreat. It is all but certain that in of a class of more than (80) young men there are others who suffer that same sense of betrayal and spiritual desertion. Our very salvation was placed in the hands of these religious leaders.

The community gasps at the cry of the rape of innocent flesh, as all eyes turn; the atrocious act that violates the sacredness of the body and devastates the human will.

Symbolism and “representation” are important components in the ancient traditions of Catholic ritual. Literature similarly employs methods of symbolism and “representation” to drive a story. Finding the Lost Weekend was written to utilize those same components in order to maximize the thunder that the narrative delivers to the reader. Anyone who has read it can testify to the book’s strength.

I reiterate, I have never denied or confirmed a sexual assault at the real “Lost Weekend Retreat.” However, the opportunity and risk of such an attack was ever present and alive for more than (40) hours while approximately (80) 17-18 year olds were turned loose to drink freely, all at the encouragement of Catholic priests. I am only one of some (80) classmates that took advantage of the opportunity. Who would want their child placed in this situation?

The depiction of rape and abuse in my book of FICTION are symbolic only. Each event symbolizes the “rape” of trust, loyalty, innocence, and most importantly the soul, as the scandal continues to contort year by year and as the number of crippled souls mount. “Rape” in this context is hardly worth a second glance to some, apparently. As long as the body is not violated everything is okay. I say, “No, everything is not okay!”

I used the real “Lost Weekend Retreat” as a foundation to build my work on. It made the perfect setting to make my point. The “euthanized voices…” honored in the Dedication of my book are represented by the helpless victims I fashioned; each of them troubled, naïve, youthful, yet mostly vulnerable to the despicable propensities of the offenders. With each act of betrayal each aspect is calculated and finally exploited to feed the insatiable appetite of the ruthless stalkers.

Contrastingly, the entire “Catholic Sexual Abuse Crisis” is aptly represented by the cold, manipulative, and scheming predators and their equally responsible enablers that I created in my book to stalk their prey.

As I expected, initially there is not a word of concern from the community for the bold misuse of authority or the blatant disregard for the law in regard to the real “Lost Weekend Retreat.” I cringe at the thought of the sensationalized media coverage that would rain down on such a daring conspiracy played out in this day and age. Was it any less criminal 39 years ago?

I continue my quest to bring meaningful healing to this “American problem.” I offer my work as a stern warning to the young and old, when it comes to “trusting” the ones we think we trust and revere most.

Paul McGill
June 16, 2008